| Swinging? What is swinging? Is it the act of getting together with your partner for a night of wild sex with people you just met, or is it something much more than that? To some, swinging is all about sex; to others, it’s about socializing with non-judgmental people who are more open-minded about their sexuality. Let’s see if we can break down the many things that this word means to different people. For years there has been a dark cloud hanging over the swinging lifestyle. There is a general misconception that if you are a swinger, or in the “Lifestyle”, you are somewhat amoral, (the morality of the lifestyle is a worthy topic in its own right, but we’ll discuss it on another occasion). People who view swinging from the outside have a lot of false ideas about it. When I’ve discussed the Lifestyle with Vanilla folk, (a term for non-swingers), I’ve found that they usually assume that it’s nothing more than a bunch of old, fat, naked people, in a dark, dirty room, in some remote location, having unsafe sex with everyone within arms reach. I’m sure there are some places in the world with that type of atmosphere, but that is not the norm. Back in the 50’s and 60’s, before HIV, there was more likely to be a lot of unprotected sex, but again, today that is not the norm. Also, due to the negative stigma that came with swinging a lot of people in the lifestyle sought out remote locations to hold their parties and events. In this day and age many Lifestyle events are held in upscale hotels, nice dance halls, and private homes. However, the one fact that hasn’t changed is that the nature of these events is still kept private and hidden from the public. It seems, at least for the time at hand, that the world is just not quite ready to deal with the openness of the swinging lifestyle. Not only are the venues and practices different from the vast misconceptions, but the people themselves are far different as well. Everyday there are hundreds, maybe even thousands of people from different walks of life entering the Lifestyle. Many doctors, lawyers, teachers, business owners, celebrities, and various other professionals are deciding to enjoy the benefits of swinging. The age ranges are just plentiful; there are young, exuberant swingers in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s, and more seasoned patrons in the 50’s-and-older crowds. Also, as with any other group of people, there are fit, sexy swingers, larger sized swingers, and everything in between. Some couples choose to share each other with other couples, while others invite single males or single females into their relationships for the added excitement of threesomes. Swingers’ sexual orientations may include: straight, bisexual, bi-curious, and lesbian or gay. Of course, all of these couples or individuals aren’t looking for the same qualities or experiences, but the beauty of the Lifestyle is that they don’t have to be…there’s something for everyone. This brings us to another common question, “what do people do if it’s not all about having sex?” To better answer that question, let’s first take a look at some common swinger types. Over the years there have been different classifications created for people in the lifestyle such as: “full-swap”, “soft-swap”, “girl-girl only”, “voyeur”, “exhibitionist”, “just curious”, and “socializers”. A couple or person that is open to “full swap” is open to having both penetrating sexual intercourse, and possibly oral intercourse with a certain person or multiple partners. “Soft Swap” couples or people are normally just into oral intercourse or touching, but no “full” swapping of partners for sexual intercourse or actual penetration. People who are “girl-girl only” are interested in having the female half of the couple have sex with another woman, with no interaction from the male half. Voyeurs prefer watching other people have sex, but do not participate with others at any physical level. Exhibitionists are just the opposite of voyeurs, and like to be watched. They get turned on by putting on a show for others. The “just curious” people are new and haven’t decided what they want to do yet. They are just taking things slowly until they decide on level of participation. Then, lastly, there are the Socializers. They come to the events to enjoy the atmosphere and the people. They are not the same as the “just curious” group, because this group has either tried participating, and found that the physical aspect of the lifestyle was not for them, or they have fully discussed that they only want to party and hang out with fun, open-minded people. Many Socializers find that their desire for one another is heightened as a result of being involved in the Lifestyle even though they don’t physically participate with others. Ultimately, although all groups are different, they should all be respected as valid parts of the swinging community. After all, it’s the diversity of each person’s needs and desires that warrant a change from traditional, strictly monogamous relationships. The types and degrees of those changes should be free to vary based on each individual’s needs. As you can see there are many different things to consider when discussing the swinging lifestyle, and we have just touched the surface. Many people within and outside of the Lifestyle have many different opinions about it, some good and some bad. The purpose of this piece was to look at swinging as more than just sex. In my personal opinion the swinging lifestyle is great. People just seem to be a lot more real and genuine. Throughout our experiences, my wife and I have met some very nice people, some are acquaintances, some are life-long friends, and others we never want to see again. But what matters most to us is that we have more fun than many couples can even imagine. At a time in which so many relationships are struggling, and the number of failing marriages has surpassed those that survive – we are open, honest with one another, and in love…what more could anyone ask for? This piece was written by: Marcus L. of ntt48034 (sls)(lsl)(cd.net) |
